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Petals

by Funeralbloom

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1.
Black Shoes 11:34
The past is lucidly compared. The future is too much of a burden to caress or evaluate. Drunken nights walking towards a house of noise and I count each step. With each step I draw my breath, with each step I tear up with death. With each step of my black shoes I crush the petals from the roses I gave to you. I still don’t know the notion of home. But, I made “home” on a mattress on your floor. Where I endured two last kiss and felt the difference between dirt poor and lavishly rich. Where the love of your life you let die twice, a stake to the heart with pride as the price. You kept your dreams, I kept my flowers, which I sent to a friend in a letter that said, “I just wanted to tell you that I still love and care for you; yesterday, I saw you walking.” I meet your eyes blankly, a lover and enemy of primal nature: noticing everything, remembering nothing. I tell you I want you, I’ve told you I want you. You reply, “Maybe one day. Maybe someday.”
2.
“You were selfish with your love and it deluded your mind.” Given the crime, I can see how selfish and selfless are blurred every time. I wore the badge of lust borne on the shoulder of my jacket; worn as a validation of choices and accomplishment; an accoutrement not sacred, not pure. A craving of fulfillment I aimed to devour. I won’t share it and I won’t share you. You are mine to follow. Your blood was my life, and mine was yours to swallow. Swallow me whole. Make me whole. You weren’t my bird to keep, so I lay where you used to sleep. Out of my bedroom window I tried to picture your tired, tan legs against mine. Out of my bedroom window I saw nothing but the trees; nothing to do with me. I saw a plane above the tops of the green. I wished I was on it. How I should have been on it. This is not what I wanted.
3.
Lust 14:13
It’s time to choose, baby. Is it gonna be him or is it gonna be me? I’ve squandered everything to prove my worth to you and its left me desolate. I painted a pretty picture of you and me; complete with our books and records at our black feet. I brushed a nervous smile on my face, because I’ve sold it and everything that meant something to me. I painted a pretty picture of you and me; complete with our books and records at your perfect feet. But, I sold it so we could fill ourselves with money. I was handsome and smart, but there was nothing that I could do. When I saw you there, your mid drift bare, I was littered with your perfect dark hair. But, fate goes ever as fate must, so I quickly drew a map to your room to prove all of my love. But, fate goes ever as fate must, so I quickly drew a map to your room. I lost. It was lust. You told me to leave, but your lips ceased the breathe I drew, so gasping for air I crushed petals I gave to you. I knew then I stored my expectations wrongly; woe is to the one who waits for love out of longing. The church of hope burned embers falsely; baptize the flame and feel heaven without me.
4.
Naked 09:00
Your bloom grows and grazes the back of my shoulder blade. It tempts me with its nectar, it’s your sweetness displayed. You were wounded and crazy, that’s why I let you in. But please, remember I will never love you, so until then we’ll have to pretend. Please, remember I can never love, so until then we’ll have to pretend. Noose around my neck. Cloth upon my face. Death surrounds me. Look at me. Look at me bow down. Death around my neck. Spit across my face. Look for me, my everything. Through the floodgates of love, you said we’re all just nature, which makes me the raven and you the dove. But, your wounds were worse than once expected. How soon until your salt mines crack and leak? When you were naked on the screen did you ever think of me? When you did those tricks for those horny men, why couldn’t you have written my name on your heart with a fountain pen? I lived in your skin, but you loved him. You’ll be proud to sin. I’m your priest. At a bar after hours, I was a strange ghost with strange flowers. Hour after hour. Immortality. And that is the only immortality that you and I may share.

about

Released via
Broken World Media | More Than Me Records

250 Cream (Broken World Media Variant)
store.brokenworldmedia.com/products/543168-funeralbloom-petals-lp

250 Purple (More Than Me Records Variant)
morethanmerecords.limitedrun (dot) com/products/542429-funeralbloom-petals-12

credits

released August 19, 2014

Music and Lyrics by Funeralbloom
Recorded and Mixed by Ryan Richie at Polar Pig
Mastered by Jamal Ruhe at West West Side Music
Art by Rainbath Visual, Reuben Sawyer
Released through Broken World Media and More Than Me Records

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Funeralbloom Texas

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